« The Dream Zone

Coming Out

by Lauri Loewenberg

Dear Lauri, The other night  was staying over at a guy’s house I like. It was a frustrating night but when I finally did fall asleep, I dreamt my family came over to his house and set up shop, so to speak. I ended up having to babysit my younger siblings while my parents were in the backyard having some kind of grill out with his parents. When my family left they had more or less trashed the place, leaving me to clean up. What does this mean?   - Noah

Lauri:
Have you come out to your family yet? I ask because, in the dream, your family was outside but you weren't out. And the grilling may be your concern that, once you open up, you will be "grilled" about it. Do you worry your parents will get all up in your business? The trash that your family leaves behind symbolizes some sort of mess of a situation. Is your relationship with your family a mess? Or did something go wrong that evening with this guy you like? Whatever the case, it seems you are feeling responsible for someone else's issue. Your dream may be telling you to let things be; it's not your responsibility to make things better as it is only bringing you stress.

Noah replies: 
Some of the members of my family know while others do not. And those that do know are not very accepting.   I have not told my grandparents yet but I really want to.  Saying that my parents are all up in my business would be an understatement. I am living in their basement right now and they have a comment for all of my actions. Things did not go well with that guy that night, much to my chagrin. I had fallen deeply for him but he was not into me.   In general the reminder that I do not have to tidy up other people's reactions to me is a welcome one. In fact, since reading your response I generally feel more relaxed.

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