Rants by Mac: We Have Serious Problems

I am angry, and I think you know why. No, it’s not that the war in Ukraine didn’t end in 24 hours, and it’s not that the bike paths in our little community haven’t been repaved in several years. It isn’t about Gavin Newsom’s Twitter trolling of President Trump (although that could be a column topic soon), or the fact that Congress is…  what is it that they do again?

No, my outrage today comes from a deeper, more important, life-changing event.

CRACKER BARREL CHANGED THEIR LOGO!!!  OH MY GOD.

Michael Douglas, playing the fictional president in “The American President,” said: “We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them.”

Thankfully we have people like Florida Representative Byron Donalds to get serious about a serious problem.

“In college, I worked at Cracker Barrel in Tallahassee. I even gave my life to Christ in their parking lot,” Donalds wrote. “Their logo was iconic and their unique restaurants were a fixture of American culture. No one asked for this woke rebrand. It’s time to Make Cracker Barrel Great Again.”

If you need to pause for a moment to dab away your tears, we’ll wait. The MCBGA hats will be on sale next week.

Donalds is not the only person who hates the new logo. Conservative commentator Benny Johnson posted that the logo change was “absolutely horrible,” and asked, “When will they learn?” Yes, when?

Senator Tommy Tuberville, now a candidate for governor of Alabama, weighed in, “We won’t eat there again.” Oh no, Tommy; please reconsider.

Right-wing influencer “End Wokeness” noted, “Cracker Barrel CEO Julie Masino should face charges for this crime against humanity.” Hang him.

“WTF is wrong with @CrackerBarrel??!” Donald Trump Jr. tweeted this week. Isn’t it too bad we all know what “WTF” means?

The Democratic Party shared its own Twitter post, “We think the Cracker Barrel rebrand sucks too.” Hey, bipartisanship, finally.

We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. IT’S A LOGO, folks.

In fact, it’s not Cracker Barrel’s original logo. When the company opened, their logo contained no barrel, no man.

Eight years later they added the barrel and, as rumor has it, a drawing of the company founder’s Uncle Herschel sitting next to the barrel. Over the years, the logo was adjusted again, multiple times, and Uncle Herschel was slimmed down in one change. Now Uncle Herschel is gone… AGAIN.

Which of those changes was woke? Or is it only this one?

Don’t you wonder why we care so much? Have you ever thought about why so many of us care so much about what the rest of us do? Other companies have changed their logos, some multiple times, such as Google, Microsoft, Pepsi, Starbucks, and Mastercard. Were any of those conspiracies?

Let’s face it: logos change. Companies tweak them to make them more modern, more appealing, more attractive. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t. But it’s not a plot. I’m fairly certain that there is no shadowy cabal holding meetings in a Denny’s backroom to undermine American culture through font changes.

To echo Don Junior, “wtf.” I don’t really care where Tommy Tuberville gets his grits and gravy, or whether Byron Donalds found God in the parking lot or at Big Lots. IT’S A LOGO!

No family budget crumbles because of a new logo. American health care costs won’t shrink based upon Uncle Herschel’s inclusion on a restaurant sign. Our schools won’t get safer because a Senator boycotts a mediocre breakfast.

We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them.

I am hoping that maybe we can repave our bike paths.

Curt MacRae, a resident of Coldwater, MI, publishes regular opinion columns

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