I asked for your input, and you delivered. In a March 20 column I asked you, the people who take the time to read these opinions, if you have had any relationships impacted by current political issues… “Tell me what caused the changes, and the current status, or your plans going forward. If there has been no impact, share that.”
I was eager to hear your thoughts. Thinking that some might offer only a couple of sentences or a damn-the-other-side tirade or two, I was encouraged at how much thought people put into their responses and how heartfelt they were. Not being able to include them all, I have compiled several that seem representative of the entire group.
So, I am sharing, in no particular order. Some comments will suggest a partisan leaning of the contributor and others will not – Readers from both parties responded and each expressed valid opinions. I have removed any comments that might have any chance at revealing anyone’s identity.
#1 – Two of my closet cousins are staunch MAGA, and after a visit with them in February where I tried to explain why I didn’t vote for Trump, there was much discussion and disbelief that I could vote the other way. I believe that politics have become so vile that it is almost impossible to state your views without some sort of discord. I have tried to avoid both Politics and Religion discussions to avoid conflict. I do think the divide is large and I am not sure how or if we can ever fix it. Our current leaders are setting a horrible example by not trying to work together and if they want a government shut down each and every one of them should go without pay (Practice what you preach).
I don’t know what has happened to our nation as a whole. We have become a society that accepts everything, denies right or wrong, does not care about his fellow man, and yet I see communities like Union City come to the aid of their fellow man to offer of themselves. I have to hold on to the belief that there are good people and good things around us.
#2 – I have a rule. No one comes off the Christmas card list.
What I appreciate most about the Trump era are the people who are still willing to listen, question, discuss and ask. From my very first vote, I shut out the media, did my homework, and voted my conscience. If the candidates’ platforms reflected the things I value most, they got my vote.
I know whose views match mine and whose don’t. Some share privately that they didn’t vote for any president this last round (a failure of conscience in my view).
Nobody comes off the Christmas card list. I have approximately 2,000 Facebook friends. This is the space that rules were meant to be broken. I’ve completely blocked one person. As neighbors, we were the best possible kind. Until they moved away.
What started out as seeming silly taunts and spirited jabs, became aggressive and disparaging cruelty, not just aimed at me, but anyone who agreed with me. I finally broke my rule. My old friend came off the Christmas card list.
The truth is, I’m certain a few folks have done the same with me. It’s probably wise when folks walk away. This era will pass. We will find common ground.
#3 – Both of my parents are Dems. Several of their siblings are not. No one discusses politics with my father because he’s a retired teacher and has researched everything. The few who have tried to argue with him have been handed a stack of books to read to gain information.
#4 – We, as a whole, should be able to agree to disagree without a grudge or total venom. It’s unfortunate that there are those that cannot. I have a very close friend and older brother who could not be more opposite politically. But we have been able to navigate the turbulence without completely shutting the other out because we listen and respect each other’s opinions. Admittedly the discourse can sometimes get heated, but we maintain our relationships.
#5 – I am a Republican, but I don’t believe the 2020 election was stolen, I didn’t view January 6 as a friendly Congressional tour, and I hate the lying, the hypocrisy, the grift, and the power grabs that are so prevalent with both parties. I want to elect representatives that represent, who are willing to take a stand for their constituency, no matter who it makes mad.
I blame both parties for the state of politics today. Partisanship divides us more than ever because neither side thinks the other has any value. I espouse conservative values, so I vote for conservative representation. I didn’t think Biden was effective and am happy he’s gone. I agree with many of the policies of the current administration but am not comfortable with the MAGA unconditional fealty. Congress needs to begin representing us. I hope we start respecting each other again and entertaining ideas from all sides. I’m not sure how we get to that.
#6 – Years ago politics and siding with Democrats or Republicans was not in my viewfinder. I was born into a quiet family, not prone to arguing politics, although my father was a township trustee. He was elected because he was a gentle spirit, respected farmer, well versed in local tax requirements, of good character, and was well liked by all.
Thus, my early idea of voting was based on attributes rather than a Democrat or Republican label. I still try to adhere to this simple philosophy. So, has the world’s stage changed or have I changed my mind because of the influence of the media which I follow? To your question, yes, there are several relatives that I routinely avoid discussing even the weather. Attitudes and expressing thoughts counter to mine in a very caustic style results in a no-response from me. Silence is golden.
#7 – If being Woke is being empathetic, then I guess I am woke. I care about others. I have never considered that a poor quality to have as a human being. I have lived in Coldwater pre-MAGA. I have watched, as the poor of this community vote against their own self-interest. Only candidates with the letter (R) after their name stand a chance to gain the necessary votes for the job.
Then came MAGA. Fox News and Facebook helped to funnel propaganda and misinformation to people that were already inline to stop trusting the government. It was the perfect storm. People needed someone to blame. They were disenfranchised. Trump gave them just that.
Immigrants are not the problem. Stop ICE! DEI is not real. Climate change is real. This country needs affordable healthcare. The list goes on and on.
What I will not tolerate is racism and hate. So, to answer your question, how wide is the divide? It might be at the point of no return. I personally have cut off ties with family and friends.
I can’t imagine the horrible emails you receive on a daily basis. I will leave you with this quote from Martin Luther King Jr, “I have decided to stick with LOVE. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
#8 – I think our marriage would be easier if we saw things the same way, but we really don’t discuss it anymore. We really don’t watch the news together anymore.
I think everyone came to the understanding we would not talk politics in each other’s presence. It does feel a little like we are on our own island but there is still love and mutual respect in the family.
We had a family get together; I picked a fight with two relatives, and it got a little heated but we all hugged at the end. Ben and Jerry’s ice cream for dessert!!!
It is really striking how people raised in the same household can see things so differently. I have stopped trying to make sense of it.
#9 – Like many people, I have experienced strained family ties, and I have also ended a friendship or two due to extreme political differences. One example is a person I have been friends with since I was a teen. Life took us in different directions, but we always maintained a close relationship. I thought our core values were mutual, but no amount of discussion can assure me that is any longer the case. I did contact this person and explained why I chose to end our friendship. I wish her all the best.
I have to wonder how much our country will heal before my life ends.
#10 – I have good friends that have different political views than myself, but I’ve been able to stay friends with them all by simply not arguing with them. I tell them up front that I don’t talk politics or religion and leave it at that. For some reason… The conversation always stops immediately. We go on to other much less abrasive subjects and always end up as friends by the end of the evening.
I blame 99.99999% of the current political upheaval on social media, simply because of the ease and anonymity! It’s very easy to jump on the bandwagon of unpopular subjects if you can hide behind something or pretend to be someone else. We all know that Facebook is the real TRUTH!
I’ve seen group discussions on TV where the people actually had to face each other with their views… They seem much more courteous and actually open to some discussion, whereas in a hidden forum online, people tend to be much more venomous!
THAT’S ALL FOLKS. Thank you for taking the time to share. You were thoughtful and introspective. Hopefully, some of your thoughts may pique others to help us build solutions.
The divide is wide, but so is the effort to navigate it. And that can be where solutions start to take root. Perhaps the solution begins, not in Washington, certainly not on social media, but in living rooms, at dinner tables, in open conversation, where we decide how we really want to treat each other.
I think we can do better. I hope we can.
Curt MacRae is a resident of Coldwater, MI and publishes opinion columns regularly.
To be notified by email when a column is published, or to offer feedback: rantsbymac@gmail.com
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