My grandson said last month, “I’m used to it,” when his mother (my daughter) asked him about some less-than-professional language used by friends at his school.
A few years ago, a neighbor wanted to discuss an issue that had upset him, and we agreed to talk. After dropping two f-bombs in his first sentence, I walked away. He shouted after me, “You said we could talk.” I told him I was willing, but once the swearing starts, I’m done. He did not realize what words he had used in that first sentence. He was used to it.
When someone wants to express their opinion about my opinions, I am always willing to respond, to debate, to discuss, but if expletives are included, the dialogue ends.
That’s sad; not because I’m bruised by someone’s use of a four-letter word. Swearing doesn’t hurt in some sticks and stones way. It’s sad because it’s lazy language that serves no real purpose, and we know that foul language is controllable we’ve seen people avoid it depending on their audience. It’s sad because we’re used to it.
OK, I admit that I swear on occasion, but I don’t use obscenities as unnecessary adjectives, adverbs, or nouns, and certainly not all in the same sentence.
A car almost ran me over while I rode a bike last week because the driver was in a hurry, speeding up to pass me before squealing tires to turn into a driveway. He cut me off, forcing me to slam on my brakes to avoid getting hit. If the driver had simply maintained his speed, I could have cleared the driveway before he turned, but he wanted to get home five seconds sooner. I was at no loss for words, but Mrs. Mac was riding with me, so my words were left unsaid as we continued riding.
In my work, I deal with business owners, bank executives, and sometimes public officials and I am amazed to hear some of them use the same kind of language my grandson has gotten used to. Most are civil, but those that throw casual cursing into general conversation put their lack of professionalism on full display. It has an effect. It can impact business.
You can criticize me; I can take it. In fact, I have always encouraged your feedback via email as an opportunity for give and take. I respond to your comments UNLESS you need vulgar words to voice your opinions. While most of the feedback I receive is constructive, I do get the occasional critique where the reader is unable to express himself (or herself) without using an obscenity or five.
I recently overheard a statement that went something like this: “This is so [bleeping] messed up, I can’t believe the [bleeping] thing [bleeping] broke after that [bleeping] [bleeper] told me it was [bleeping] fixed. [Bleep].” I think that last “Bleep” was just for emphasis.
And each bleep was a variation of the same word. If you are used to it, you can guess.
Professional speakers attempt to limit the “ums and uhs” in their delivery. The obscenity-laden talker inserts profanities instead. He needs to fill the pauses. It’s lazy talk.
Bad language turns many people off, but of those who are unaffected, few have ever expressed their admiration, “Gee, that was really creative the way he used the same expletive in four straight sentences.”
It’s like smoking. What is your upside?
Foul language tells your audience that you don’t have the intelligence to use a better, more descriptive word. Clean speech is clear speech, and generally acceptable to everyone. And then, when you get really upset and throw out a “Bleep it,” it’ll have more meaning because we’re not used to it.
Ask yourself, would you want Mom or Dad, or your spouse or kids to hear what you say? If not, show some intellect and pick a better word.
Even Mark Twain understood this. As someone known for some colorful language, Twain once admitted that profanity provides a relief denied even in prayer. Stub your toe and find out. But he also knew that overuse is a sign of laziness or ignorance, and the dialogue is no longer sharp or funny. It becomes background noise because we are used to it. The world has enough noise. We don’t need to add more of it one four-letter word at a time.
Clean language doesn’t display weakness; it allows people to hear you without having to shout.
So yes, I’m aware of terms like “WTF.” We all are. We hear it on late-night comedy shows, we hear it from business executives, and road-rage situations. We hear it from teenagers. We’re all getting “used to it. But in my house, when I do something particularly stupid and Mrs. Mac gives me that look, I respond with, “WHY THE FACE?”
Curt MacRae is a resident of Coldwater, MI and publishes opinion columns regularly.
To be notified by email when a column is published, or to offer feedback: rantsbymac@gmail.com
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